Everyone wishes they were a witch/wizard right? Well, I certainly do! I have been waiting a loooong time for my Hogwarts letter and still haven’t got one *sigh* so I guess that means I really am just a muggle *sobs*.
Obviously there are many downsides of not being a ‘magical folk’ so I thought I’d talk you through them today with a few tips to help you survive being a muggle.
#1: The distinct lack of butterbeer in the muggle world. I mean, who WOULDN’T want to walk down the street and grab a butterbeer on their way to work/school!?!?
Sadly, there are not nearly enough places to get butterbeer in the UK as there should be *more sobs*. If you are lucky enough to go to The Making of Harry Potter in London or even Universal Studios in Orlando, however, by all means you can drink butterbeer to your hearts content! If not, you can still try out butterbeer – there are plenty of recipes you can find online and make at home (although no guarantees they will be as nice as the ACTUAL thing).
#2: Our schools are nowhere near as cool as Hogwarts. I think governments should take note of this – I mean, if every school looked as magnificent and exciting as Hogwarts, no one would ever want to skive school again (unless, of course, they’re idiots). Seriously though, it would be so cool to go to a school that looked like Hogwarts. I don’t know about you but I think schools these days tend to look a bit more like prisons than places you go to be educated.
Although there are (sadly) no real-life schools that I know of that resemble Hogwarts, Oxford University DOES have a very Hogwarts-y feel about it and is well worth visiting so you can just stand there and daydream about ACTUALLY being at Hogwarts. PLUS the Great Hall at Hogwarts is based on the dining hall at Christ Church college, Oxford which is even more proof that Oxford is practically Hogwarts. Aside from Oxford, there are plenty of places around the UK that were used for filming interior and exterior scenes of Hogwarts – one of which is Lacock Abbey in Wiltshire which I was lucky enough to visit some time ago. It was used for the ‘corridor’ scenes in the films and when you go there it really DOES feel like you are inside Hogwarts.
#3: Our school subjects are so boring compared to those at Hogwarts. On the subject of schools, it can’t be forgotten that students at Hogwarts get to study a wide variety of ‘magical’ subjects – potions, care of magical creatures, charms, fence against the dark arts etc – whilst us muggles are stuck doing maths, English, geography and the like.
Whilst educational reforms to include these subjects in the curriculum would be completely out of the question, it would still be nice if we could study these subjects outside of school. And guess what? You can! Well, kind of. I mean, the Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them text book which Hogwarts students use in their Care of Magical Creatures class is available in muggle bookshops and libraries (I’m glad they decided to publish this one and not The Monster Book of Monsters *gulp*) so at least we can experience a bit of what it would be like to study a magical subject. On top of that, you can do GCSE Astronomy in the UK (which I wish I’d known when I was choosing my GCSEs) although I’m not sure how many schools would actually offer that to you, you’d probably have to self-teach it but STILL.
#4: Our lack of magical ability.This is probably one of the worst things about being a muggle. I mean, if I had magic, I wouldn’t have to get out of bed to turn off the light, I could ‘accio‘ pretty much anything I wanted to and wouldn’t have to stand on the doorstep trying (and failing) to unlock my front door everyday (I’m rubbish at using keys). PLUS we could have our own wands which would be THE BEST thing ever.
As far as casting spells and actually performing magic goes, there isn’t really a muggle solution. BUT with the help of Pottermore, you can find out what your own, personalised wand would be like and even be sorted into a Hogwarts house. Alternatively, there are many places where you can buy the characters wands and there are various sites on the internet that act as ‘wandmakers’ and make custom wands for people. SO even if you can’t actually perform magic, as a muggle you can still have a wand!
#5: Quidditch!!!!! Wouldn’t it be amazing to be able to play Quidditch? Like, instead of doing hockey or netball or football or whatever in sport at school, you could play Quidditch instead?!?!?! I, personally, think I would be rubbish at Quidditch because I’m not a very coordinated person BUT Quidditch does sound like a really fun game (or painful if you happen to be a ‘Keeper’). Also, I feel like Quidditch would be a sport I could ACTUALLY get into – the matches are full of action and fast-paced so even just watching Quidditch would great. The Quidditch World Cup would be SO amazing to watch and support your national team, wouldn’t it????
Considering were all muggles ‘ere (excuse me whilst for being a bit West Country), we can’t actually fly 😦 BUT there are many universities in the UK (and probably abroad too) that have Quidditch societies where you can actually play Quidditch in a league against other university teams. Obviously it differs somewhat to the real game (in part due to our non-flying abilities) but the basic principles are still there!
#6: Why aren’t muggle Invisibility Cloaks a thing??? I mean, I KNOW decent ones are somewhat rare even in the wizarding world, but there have been many times where I wished I could have just had an Invisibility Cloak to hide from certain people you don’t want to bump into in the street or to just sneak around, unnoticed and unbothered by other people. Plus they could help you out of awkward situations too. Basically they just NEED to be a thing.
Sadly there isn’t much a muggle can do to make up for the lack of Invisibility Cloaks in our world, aside from hoping that the ground will just swallow you up in awkward situations and that hiding behind trees and lamp posts will help you be stealthy and move around without being seen.
#7: We can’t buy Extendable Ears. Not that I like to spy on people, let’s just clear that up, but you have to admit Extendable Ears WOULD be quite useful. I mean, you could hear far-away sounds without having to move an inch – they are the ultimate tool for laziness (aside from the summoning charm obviously). To be honest I think all of the Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes products in general would be very useful in everyday life
You CAN infact visit a Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes store at the Universal Studios in Orlando but that is so far away from here so I’ll just have to make do with putting empty cups against walls to try and hear through them.
#8: Our inability to apparate and use the Floo Network/Portkeys. If we could make use of magical modes of transport, it would be SO MUCH EASIER to travel everywhere. Not to mention it would be free. We could visit our internet friends whenever we liked, without even having to pay for a train or bus ticket. No place would be too far away and we wouldn’t have to deal with the horror that is public transport. I think this is probably the thing I wish I could do most as a muggle because I love to travel and I’d love to meet up with my internet friends easily.
WARNING: you might want to grab some tissues before you read what I’m about to write.
There is no solution to this. There is no muggle-way of getting round the fact that we can’t apparate or use Portkeys and the Floo Network. *Hysterical sobbing*. We’ll all just have to put up with being stuck on cramped trains and unreliable buses like the muggles we are. 😦
And on that note, that concludes my guide to ‘Muggle Struggles and How To Survive Them’. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writing it! 🙂
Quick reminder: You have until the next Sunday, 31st July (which also happens to be Harry Potter’s birthday) to send in your contributions to the Finding Our Feet Project if you would like to participate!